think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wish you could order shots online.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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