No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
