The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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