i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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