We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
