did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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