I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
