What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We don't watch enough power rangers
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
