allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
