dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
