I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
