youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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