I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
