Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
