Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
