I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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