Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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