So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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