do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
