I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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