Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
