No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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