found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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