shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
