i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
