i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
