He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
