Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
