Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
