I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
