I must be too annoying 4 u.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
