Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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