I love black thongs
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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