The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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