we have officially lost it.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
