Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
