I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
