your parents love me but you hate me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
