I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
