My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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