There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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