Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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