He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
