i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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