Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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