Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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