sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
