And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
