Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
