No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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