I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
send nudes
from the living room?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
