I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
