Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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